Friday, April 3, 2009

Can a mom resign? I'm not one to post lots of personal stuff on here, but today...I need to write something to whomever may read this. Do you ever feel like God is asking you to be somebody you're not? Moses crossed my mind as I was struggling with this late into the night. I think I might feel a little like Moses when he was asked to go to Pharaoh. So I ask God to help change me. I don't really have any concept of how to change ME, but I'm trusting that He can. I'm trying to trust that He can. I'm also remembering how real and transparent David was in the Psalms as he talked to God. This is how I'm trying to pray. I have to. So if you happen to read this post, would you mention me in your prayers? If you do, please post it. It'd really encourage me right now. I'm not without hope, but feel like it'd be awesome to have others praying for what's on my heart right now. Thank you!!

13 comments:

Corene said...

Motherhood/homekeeping is sooo difficult, and has few "relief" times. I often struggle with this, and haven't found a solution that makes the struggles go completely away. It's even more difficult when you choose a way of life that involves cooking from scratch, homeschooling, and creative play. These of course, are great for your kids, but demand more of you than would eating takeout and letting them play DS or watch cartoons whenever.
Am praying for you!

Ang said...

I love you christy and will pray for you. You are a great example to me and to everyone that mets you. Even Superman had a weakness once in a while.

Abbi said...

Christy, I will be praying for you and am right now.

Dear God, Please be with Christy and help her to feel your strength as she has a time of struggling. Please help her to have joy and peace through this time. Please be with all the kids too that they would be understanding and encouraging and that they can all bless each other. Thank you that you are always there, loving us and seeing everything that is going on. Thank you that you have all the answers and that you will help us to see them too. Please help us to be aware of the Holy Spirits work and open to Him working in our lives. Thank you for Your love! Amen.

I love you Christy! Keep up the good work! Abbi

Christy said...

I really appreciate these thoughts and prayers. Sometimes it "feels" like we're mothering alone and we're the only ones who have these problems with our children and with ourselves. I know it's not true, but sometimes this job is too big for me. Little ones are physically demanding but it's teenagers who are emotionally exhausting as they become adults. So complex. Am thankful to my parents for getting me through those years! Love you all!

Esther said...

I think we as mothers don't talk about these feelings with each other as much as we should. It's nice to know other moms have go through these moments. I love you and thank God that you are my sister. You inspire me in so many ways. When I have bad days, I get through them sometimes because I know that if you can do all you do with 7 kids, than I can do it with 2. I pray for you and will prayer for you even more right now. Lots of hugs to you. Love you.

Venessa said...

It brings tears to my eyes just reading the comments posted here...Even tho we are all in different stages as moms and we each mother differently, homeschooling or not, working outside the home or not, etc., we all have stresses! Trust me that you are not alone in these feelings! I am not there with teenagers but I certainly understand the extra pressure and stresses! I will definitely be praying more for you for the strength in these areas that you need! I love you a lot! Venessa

Jason said...

I am right there with you Christy and will definitely remember you in my prayers! When you know someone is praying for you it feels like part of the burden lifts off right then because you know the prayers will help! Thank you for opening up and letting the rest of us know that we aren't alone in our struggles!! We love you!

In The Potter's Hands said...

I just realized I'm under Jason's name. That might be confusing. Thought I'd better clear it up.

Bridgett said...

Just wanted to let you know that I am praying for you. Thank you for sharing your feelings. Love you.

NoOrdinaryThaw said...

Hi Christy... I don't normally leave comments on blogs, but since you said it would encourage you, I'll venture to go ahead.

I don't want to hand out a bunch of "stuff" but simply say that in my own experience, and from what I can see in the experiences of others in the Bible... God often calls us to do and to be what He knows we can't do in our own strength. Moses somehow knew what God wanted and yet when he tried to "do it" and "make it happen," the timing wasn't right and HE wasn't right and he failed. God had to break him and change him (by taking him to the desert -- the place of the unimportant and mundane "grind" of life in the desert) to the point that he knew he couldn't do anything on his own. He stopped trying to be a super hero. (Not saying that you are, just that the daily pressures make us feel we need to be.)

The people used greatest by God were the ones who felt like they couldn't and/or shouldn't do whatever it was God put in front of them, but still rightly expected that they needed to be done: God has a Standard. This often very obviously involved risk and hardship or the difficult, and they had already experienced some "personal desert" which God ultimately used to purge them of themselves: Moses (later), Gideon, Elijah, Jonah, Jeremiah, Isaiah, Hosea, Paul, even Jesus in the garden (though Jesus "emptied Himself," still there was an emptying); the list is long.

I think you are doing exactly the right thing by taking it vertically and begging Jesus Himself to change you. That's exactly right and the only Way. I've always felt if God's calling me to something and I know I'm inadequate for it and not the right kind of person, He'll get me there (if I do the little things like pull up the weeds in my life, renounce sin, sow to the spirit, and "faint not" so that "in due season"...), just like you are saying and as He's promised and shown.

We preach a strange gospel sometimes that paints more of a picture that we need to be so "put together" and on top of things like Esther kind of alluded to. I'd be more concerned if you felt put together than so inadequate.

None of that may apply and it was probably too much, but we've always appreciated your "realness" and softness!! :-)

chris

Fledermaus said...

Christy... i love you. I just want u to know that I really look up to you. When I think of the verse of a "gentle and quiet spirit" I seriously think of you every time. I will pray that the Peace that only God can give will be in your heart, even during the chaotic times. You mean a lot to me and I know to others as well.

Your lil' sis in Christ, bethany :)

Christy said...

Just want to say thanks again for the prayers and encouragement. It's a journey that doesn't end, but it is easier some days. I've seen some lighter moments that bring me hope the last few days. I'm also constantly reminded that God's love is greater than my imperfect love. I'm also surprised (I shouldn't be) that there are things that used to really get to me that I'm actually accepting and "Okay" with. It takes me back and I have to ask myself, "Is this really me?" Thank you, God!! Love you all!

me said...

Christy, I'm praying for you.

I realized something through this post...I only want to go through things that I can handle on my own. Thankfully, though, God chooses to lead me (and sometimes carry me) through things that I CAN'T handle on my own, because these are the times that make me grow closer to Him.

Thank you for being candid and letting me pray for you.